Isabella Mueller Baroness of Stainton le Vale
In Amsterdam’s colorful history, which pulsates between the canals and narrow streets, there is a particularly bizarre anecdote surrounding the so-called shit-throwing ghost. Yes, you heard right! While other cities with their ghosts and ghost stories tend to feature dark and mysterious figures, Amsterdam has its own somewhat bizarre ghost that deals with a pile of horse manure. It is said that this large, white ghost with glowing red eyes appeared every Friday of the month at a special place called Ossenspooksteeg. The skippers who sailed their small boats along the canals or moored nearby were his favorite victims. And while in some places ghosts try to spread fear and terror with ghostly laughter, this ghost had a very different sense of humor. He was a master of audacity. It is reported that he twirled his robes around energetically while hurling fresh horse manure at the unfortunate sailors with a mighty swing. Imagine the scene: dinner in one of the many beautiful restaurants right on the canal, while in the background a confused skipper tries to defend himself against the imposing ghost, with a pile of horse manure slamming onto the planks behind him. The ghost roared with laughter, as if he were laughing himself silly at his own prank. Despite his bizarre sense of humor, however, this ghost also had a dark side. It is said that he not only threw manure, but also played cruel pranks. Children who hung around the Ossenspooksteeg were particularly vulnerable to this winged fiend. On dark nights, he is said to have secretly ambushed them, twisting their necks when they weren’t paying attention. A rather grotesque idea. But perhaps this was just a legend invented by adults to keep children from straying too far from the path. However, the stories about the Bullshit Ghost are as colorful as the city itself. Each district has a slightly different version of the story, and the more alcohol flows into the guests’ glasses, the more creative the tales become. While some claim that the children still had stiff necks the next day after encountering the ghost, others tell of a shy house spirit who merely had a penchant for pranks and a little mischief. Another, much more serious story that pervades Amsterdam is that of the monastery on Bloedstraat, where there was once a “blood chamber.” This chamber was not only used for medical purposes, but also as a torture chamber. Here, people experienced horror in a form far removed from the pranks of the bullshit ghost. This blood chamber later became known as the seat of the Blood Council of Alva, and many reports of the suffering and torment that took place here are circulating. The connection between these two stories could not be more contrasting. On the one hand, there is the hilarious and brazen Bullshit Ghost, who makes life difficult for skippers, and on the other, there is the eerie echo of former torture and pain from the past. Perhaps that is precisely what makes Amsterdam so unique and fascinating. The perfect blend of fun and seriousness that captivates visitors. Although the legend of the shit-throwing ghost is often viewed with a smile, there is a lot of truth in the way stories are told in Amsterdam. They are part of the city’s identity, which encompasses both the lightheartedness and the dark chapters of history. So the next time you stroll through the alleys of Amsterdam, be on your guard—not only against the ghosts of the past, but also against the mischievous smile of the Bullshit Ghost, who may be waiting around the next corner to play a “dirty” trick on you.
